the night we almost spoke

“we were like clock hands when it struck midnight close but not holding as time moved we became six on the clock facing different directions walking away without knowing where we were going we both in different path heading somewhere we didn’t even know maybe we’ll meet again when the clock hits midnight again or maybe the clock won’t make it that far i wish midnight stayed a little longer just long enough to say something anything you were right there but it felt like miles i had so many hellos stuck in my throat and you— you looked like you were waiting or maybe you weren’t maybe i just hoped you were the air felt heavy like it knew we had things to say but neither of us moved we let silence win again the wind was cold but not colder than the space between us and somehow that hurt more than goodbye the stars kept blinking like they were bored of watching us the moon didn’t bother to shine on this part of the city you looked at me like you had something to say but your lips stayed quiet and so did mine i thought maybe you were waiting for me to speak first but i was scared scared of what your silence might mean i kept thinking one of us would break say something small like “hi” or “i missed you” but we didn’t we just stood there watching the night pass us like it wasn’t the last one we’d get i stood there thinking about everything we could’ve been all the versions of us that might’ve worked in another time another world but this one this world was quiet and we followed its rules i wonder now what would’ve happened if we had said the things we felt instead of burying them maybe nothing maybe everything funny how close we were to changing everything and still we chose silence sometimes i still go back to that rooftop in my head still see you still feel that moment where it almost changed sometimes i still hope the clock stops just for a moment so we can try again but time doesn’t wait and neither did you we both walked away from a moment that could’ve saved us and now it just lives here in words we never said we were never meant to last just meant to meet briefly like midnight now you live in the silence in the second before the hour changes in that pause where nothing is said but everything is felt that was the night we almost said something the night we almost chose each other the night we almost spoke”