a home not mine

“i didn’t want this feeling— the warmth of someone to come home to. yet i crave the home, the someone, just not the pain it brings. a small shift in the room, and my heart aches. cold. tight. i don’t want it. the feeling of my chest bursting when they pull away— i don’t want that either. maybe i built a home that was never really mine. maybe i walked barefoot into someone else’s space and called it comfort. maybe i mistook the light in their eyes as a sign to stay. and now, even the smallest change feels like the sky falling. even if it’s just a leaf in the wind— it still hurts when it lands on my chest.”